Thoughts to Paper: Journalling

I've started journalling at the tender age of eleven. Like most children that start at the age, you mostly write about whats going on in your life irrevelant. Myself, I wrote about who's house I went over, what we did, what I did for the weekend with my parents and the little snotty boys that I liked. To this date, I have three journals that I have filled in with my random thoughs and experiences. Now those three are in the attic collecting dust. But from time to time I do go back and read what I wrote. It's always an excellent thing to go back and remind yourself how far you have come. What lessons you have learned and what you gained from it all. I usually do this a year after the last journal entry in the previous journal. It's simply a time to reflect and encourage myself.

When I tell people that I journal, they always ask me what do I write about? Its kind of hard to explain but I most likely give them examples. I see journalling as another outlet for me to get to my thoughts out. It's my friend without judgement. They only person who will ever judge me is me. A lot of times I listen to people's problems day in and day out and give advice when asked but then when it's time for me to let go of how I'm really feeling, no one seems to be around or really paying attention to a word I am saying. Therefore, I let my ink bleed on the papers, sometimes along with tears. Yes, tears. I can't count how many times I had to stop and allow myself to get myself together because I have had so much built up anger and/or hurt suppressed inside of me. I hurt just like any other human being or animal but somehow some people don't see it.

As years progessed on, my writing has become extensive. My poetry is an exentsion of my thoughts but more on an intimate level. Those are differnt types of words that flow through me. Poetry is my inner most vulnerable spot within my soul. Something that many people wont understand (unless you're a poet also). But now my journalling has expaded to other books. I have a personal one where I write down my weekly experiences, lessons, thoughts, goals and feelings. My prayer journal is where I talk to God on a more intimate level. I usually write my prayers down and then speak outloud back to God. I pray about anything that my heart desires, regardless if it's prayers for other people, money, goals, accomplishments/praises, hurt, pain, etc. I let God know how Jamale is really feeling. I don't hold back at all to God. He is the only one who knows me the best, so why fake it?

Lastly, I have an exercise/diet journal. Now this is new, since I just brought it this past week but I have journalled about this in the past, I just did it in another form but it's all the same. This journal has the date, current weight, meals, feelings and thoughts. I use to write all this stuff down in my personal journal but I'm glad to see that they finally have it where I can keep up with it separately. Thank you God! This journal is going to help me A LOT with my weight problems. Unlike, some people, I can admit when I'm wrong. And right now, my weight is all wrong. This is an area in my life that I don't like and that I need to work. Therefore, I believe this journal will open up myself in a different way and reveal to me my problems with loosing weight.

I express all this to say, don't be afarid to write. I use to be afriaid to really put down on those pages what was really going on with me in fear of someone judging me later. But I later discovered that the only person who was getting hurt was me. I don't care what people think nor do I care how they may view me once I depart from this earth. I just pray that people will understand that I made my share of mistakes and I have learned from them. So if my children read from them, they too will learn what not to do. Or even if my journals fall in the hands of a stranger, I pray that they live their life to the fullest as I'm trying to live mines. So if you're reading this and don't have a journal, go out and try it. Allow yourself to be comfortable enough to fully let go of what's bothering you. I pray that you see what's really eating you up inside. Peace and blessings...