First Date Top 10 Tips!!!!

A first date is always a nerve racking situation but if you stay calm, look your best and act normal all should go well. But since many people rarely go on dates now a days, a lot of people don't know how to act. Over the years, I have learned the do's and don'ts to dating through my own or other people's experiences.
Here's my top ten first date tips......

Tip #1
Be prepared for your time:
A lot people don't understand that it's some prep work before a first date. So you have to allow yourself enough time to get home to change/bathe/apply make up/etc, get to the location and get there on time...

Tip #2
Get to your date early:
You want to get there early because maybe it's a spot you've never been before so you need to check out the surroundings. Maybe they don't have valet, you need to take the train to the location, find parking, traffic, etc. You don't want to have your date waiting. Nor do you want to be so frustrated by all the unplanned events before your date.

Tip #3
Greet your date properly:
Depending on you all status or what you'll allow, greet your date accordingly. Since it's the first date in this situation, you may want to give a person a handshake or hug. Something like a kiss off the break sends signals that you want something else. So be careful how you greet that person.

Tip #4
Depending on your status is how you interact with you date:
Don't allow a person to reach over and try to grab your privates while you all are out or even in the car. A woman should act like a lady and a man should act like a perfect gentleman. There shouldn't be any unnecessary touching in any form. If the guy want to touch your knee during the movie or you want to interlock arms also, depending how you feel, it's all up to you. Remember a man will treat you the way you allow him to.

Tip #5
Stop flirting so much!!!:
It's cute to let a person know that you really digging them and want to show them in all ways possible that you're physically attracted to them but when all clothes are on, you really need to get to know this person. Get to the bottom of things. Ask questions pertaining to their goals, family, friends, experiences, children, career,etc. Get to know the person, not what they can do for you.

Tip #6
Allow a man to be a man!:
This is hard for a lot "independent" women now a days but let the man to lead the date. I'm not saying allow him to lead you right to his house, NO! I'm saying stop telling the man what you want and what you all are going to do. You make that man feel like he's out with a controlling woman and loose interest. Allow him to ask you what you want to do next and where do you feel comfortable going. But stop being so "independent", that's why your butt is single! LOL

Tip #7
Do NOT GET DRUNK ON YOUR FIRST DATE!!:
This is so sad that I have to insert this tip but boy oh boy I tell ya, a lot of people get out here and show their ass because they don't know how to act. The feel as though the alcoholic beverage is going to "calm their nerves" but really it shows your ass! You need a sober and clear mind to make the right decisions, to enjoy the date and for the date to really enjoy you. No person want the first impression to be that they either can handle their drink or they're an alcoholic.

Tip #8
Body Language is everything during a date!!:
A person can tell if you're really diggin them or you're clearly not interested based on your body language. Your body shows a person how much you're enjoying the conversation by the raise of the eyebrows, the lean in of the body, the gentle touch on the hand, the look up from a drink, a smile, laughterand a gentle tap. All those there tell a person that they can pursue you further or simply end the date early. Remember not all people like to be touched though.

Tip #9
Fellas, for the first date pay for the meal:
It's very traditional for a man to pay for a meal. Women was raised to let a man spoil you and show you much they appreciate you and this goes hand and hand with a first date. Not saying that you have to go all out and splurge on this woman but show her that you're not cheap and you have no problem paying for activities of the first date.

Tip #10
End the date properly:
This is the nervous part of the date....to kiss or not to kiss?? This is simply all up to you! I can not answer this question for you. Again this depends on your status, your body language, and how you want to end the date. So choose wisely, don't end up in no one's bed...you may not get to see what the future holds.

SO GET OUT AND DATE!!!

Thoughts to Paper: Journalling

I've started journalling at the tender age of eleven. Like most children that start at the age, you mostly write about whats going on in your life irrevelant. Myself, I wrote about who's house I went over, what we did, what I did for the weekend with my parents and the little snotty boys that I liked. To this date, I have three journals that I have filled in with my random thoughs and experiences. Now those three are in the attic collecting dust. But from time to time I do go back and read what I wrote. It's always an excellent thing to go back and remind yourself how far you have come. What lessons you have learned and what you gained from it all. I usually do this a year after the last journal entry in the previous journal. It's simply a time to reflect and encourage myself.

When I tell people that I journal, they always ask me what do I write about? Its kind of hard to explain but I most likely give them examples. I see journalling as another outlet for me to get to my thoughts out. It's my friend without judgement. They only person who will ever judge me is me. A lot of times I listen to people's problems day in and day out and give advice when asked but then when it's time for me to let go of how I'm really feeling, no one seems to be around or really paying attention to a word I am saying. Therefore, I let my ink bleed on the papers, sometimes along with tears. Yes, tears. I can't count how many times I had to stop and allow myself to get myself together because I have had so much built up anger and/or hurt suppressed inside of me. I hurt just like any other human being or animal but somehow some people don't see it.

As years progessed on, my writing has become extensive. My poetry is an exentsion of my thoughts but more on an intimate level. Those are differnt types of words that flow through me. Poetry is my inner most vulnerable spot within my soul. Something that many people wont understand (unless you're a poet also). But now my journalling has expaded to other books. I have a personal one where I write down my weekly experiences, lessons, thoughts, goals and feelings. My prayer journal is where I talk to God on a more intimate level. I usually write my prayers down and then speak outloud back to God. I pray about anything that my heart desires, regardless if it's prayers for other people, money, goals, accomplishments/praises, hurt, pain, etc. I let God know how Jamale is really feeling. I don't hold back at all to God. He is the only one who knows me the best, so why fake it?

Lastly, I have an exercise/diet journal. Now this is new, since I just brought it this past week but I have journalled about this in the past, I just did it in another form but it's all the same. This journal has the date, current weight, meals, feelings and thoughts. I use to write all this stuff down in my personal journal but I'm glad to see that they finally have it where I can keep up with it separately. Thank you God! This journal is going to help me A LOT with my weight problems. Unlike, some people, I can admit when I'm wrong. And right now, my weight is all wrong. This is an area in my life that I don't like and that I need to work. Therefore, I believe this journal will open up myself in a different way and reveal to me my problems with loosing weight.

I express all this to say, don't be afarid to write. I use to be afriaid to really put down on those pages what was really going on with me in fear of someone judging me later. But I later discovered that the only person who was getting hurt was me. I don't care what people think nor do I care how they may view me once I depart from this earth. I just pray that people will understand that I made my share of mistakes and I have learned from them. So if my children read from them, they too will learn what not to do. Or even if my journals fall in the hands of a stranger, I pray that they live their life to the fullest as I'm trying to live mines. So if you're reading this and don't have a journal, go out and try it. Allow yourself to be comfortable enough to fully let go of what's bothering you. I pray that you see what's really eating you up inside. Peace and blessings...

It's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate

We all have had a friend whom we adored from afar but not many people cross that line of friendship to a relationship. Sometimes you meet people who you initially wanted to move into a relationship but ended up as just a friend.  But then sometimes you can eventually love a person for who they are so much that you actually fall in love with them. What a lot of people fail to realize is that a friendship to a relationship is a thin line between love and hate. I can speak about this because I have been in that situation.

My twelfth grade year I fell in "like" with my childhood friend. We have been friends since the seventh grade and I confided in my good friend that I was really falling for our mutual friend. Mike was the type of person that was loud, funny, basically the class clown. He was someone that you either loved or hate. But weirdly I feel in love with his funny ways. So when I told my friend that I was really feeling him, she took it upon herself to make it her mission to tell our friend that I had a huge crush on him. Our relationship started off something like this..."Jamale you like Mike right? (Yes) OK Mike you like Jamale right? (Yes) OK great, yall go ahead and call each other later and talk things out." Mike and I both looked at each other, smiled, hugged and agreed to speak later on the phone.

Our relationship started off a little weird. Here it is, one of my best male friends is now my BOYFRIEND! Wow that was a bit much for a young girl to handle. But needless to say, I handled myself quite well. Anyway, as time went on, Mike and I were inseparable. We did everything together and all our friends thought we were a great match. My friend who "hooked" us up took her bragging rights to the hallways every time she saw us together since all our lockers were in the same row. But our relationship came to an abrupt end when Mike broke up with me on my apartment steps, one month before my departure to college. I lost my breath as this man gave me some BS reason why he didn't want to continue our relationship.  I lost myself in his words, zone out and told myself to hold my tears until I got into the house. I immediately got up from the steps and headed the house after he finished his well prepared speech and slammed the door. I called my friend and broke down crying. I hated him for how he made me feel.

After that relationship I vowed that I will NEVER date one of my close guy friends again. Little did I know that the roles will be switched some years later. While in high school, I met this guy my tenth grade year that really liked me but he was later the person who feel in deeply in love with me. What stopped us from being more than friends in high school was my then boyfriend. I was dating my then boyfriend for a year and was very faithful to him. So I wasn't going to go outside our relationship and cheat on him. So my friend stayed by my side for years, waiting on the side lines, waiting for his chance to get into the game. But I allowed so many other players to enter the game while he rode the bench. Now this isn't done on purpose, I just fell in love with my friend as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. It hurt me over the years that he was hurt but then again I can't help but the way I feel. I have played with the thought of us being together but never really ventured into the red zone of a relationship.

Some people can consider me to be selfish (including my male friend) but I see myself as a very smart woman. I am not going to conform to be someone that I am not. I love all my friends for who they are and what they provide to me, love. But I can't love beyond my means. That's right ladies and gentlemen, you sometimes can love beyond your means. Love should be unconditional and endless, never with restraints. As the years progress, my friends patience was thinning. I wanted to hang out, chill, be my true self around him and love him for who he is but he saw me as his potential woman. I can't count how many times we stopped talking, got into arguments and copped attitudes over the lack of a relationships that we have. I wanted a friendship, he saw me as his perfect girlfriend. As a result of this challenge, my friend and I aren't speaking. I need my space to worry about me, not him hounding me for an answer. Or throwing mixed emotions my way.

Love is defined as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. While on the other hand, hate is defined as to feel intense dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility. I have at one point in time in my life I have experienced both emotions. I can't say that I hate anyone right now but I can say I hate love sometimes. Love doesn't play fair. Love is blind. Love don't always have a true label. Love sometimes isn't my true friend. Love is so difficult on so many levels hence why now I'm on a roller coaster with it. But I write this blog to give you a heads up. Really think about your true feelings you have for that friend. I have learned from that past relationship now to my current friendship. I have learned that love is sacred and precious. You can't take it for granted for one moment of lust. There really is a thin line between love and hate. Within the same sentence, how many times have you have heard so many people say, " damn I really loved him/her but now I hate that MF'er with a passion because...." Love/Hate is an emotion that can be interchangeable. Therefore, think twice before you cross that line.... 

Goodbye Brownie.....

Yep thats how my face was looking this past week! LOL. I haven't dyed nor played with any color in my hair since 07. When I did play with a color it was a semi perm color and didn't take too well. It was beautiful the first  week or two then once I washed it, like alot of dyes, it rinsed out. I mean all the way out!!! So I said forget it, I'm not bleaching my hair and have my hair color too bright. Hell I do have to go to work professionally so therefore, I'll stick to the basic. After all these years my hair has result to this.

 I'm just so tired of this color that I'm really going to do it...I'm going to dye my locs!!! I asked people on Facebook what they thought would be a great color for me. I was suggested some crazy colors such as "Raven purple", black, red/organge and even GREEN! Yea my friends are some jokers but I believe I'm going to settle on a redish color with a tint of organge. I did it last time but this time, I'm doing a perm color. I'm not wasting time with this color process. A couple of weeks ago, I dyed my mom's hair a lite brownish/red but only her scalp came out since she's been dying her hair black for over 20 years!!! LOL. So it's goigng to be an adventure trying to dye it lighter without bleaching it but we're going to get it together. So this will be my last weekend that I'll be a "brunette", I've heard red heads had the most fun anyway. LOL we shall see...........

Goodbye Brownie!!!

Nail Polish Color of the Week

*Cheshire* by Funky Fingers

Hair Maintainence

Hello Young World!

During my hiaitus I was approached by two women to their hair. Now this was a complete shock for me but God is good for allowing me to have that oppurtunity to do something like that. I've been doing my mom's hair maintainence for the past three months since our hair dresser had dissed her for her last hair appointment back in June 2010. I took it upon myself to learn new hair styles via Youtube since both my mom and I aren't getting our hair done by her for a while. Since doing so, I've learned about four hairstyles to do on my own hair. Now I've been growing my locs for the past 4.5 years so my hair is significally longer and thicker than my mothers. But that doesn't stop her from wanting the same or similar hair styles that I rock, which is no problem. Therefore, I started doing the styles on her hair. Which is shown below.

My mom's coworker's were so impressed with her hair style that they immediately pulled my mom to the side and asked for my number. I was in shocked! Now this is what you all don't know. These two women go to the same hair stylist that my mom and I were going to. But apparently, she has been doing the same thing to them by cancelling appointments the day of (even 5-10 mins before the appt. time), not returning their phone calls and/or extending their appt. dates. Therefore, they decided they wanted to come over and allow me to do their hair. I was extremely surprised and overwhelmed but I did fine. I took my time and they were satisfied with their results. I didn't get a picture of the first ladies hair but I did of the second lady. Here's the pictures below...

I did a simple basket weave for her and made sure I moisterized her scalp and locs since she has extreme dry hair/scalp. *She came back two weeks later to get some flat twists put in on the side of her head but I forgot to take a pic*

Hair Maintainence-Loc Bun

For the week of Aug. 9-13, 2010, I did a really cute loc bun style. My hair was already curly/crinkled from braids that I did the week previous. So when I did the bun it gave it a little different texture. But the front had a little hump while the back was a bun. It was a huge bun but it was really nice. I kept this style in for a week and a half.

 

Updates!!!

Well Hello Young World!!!

First and foremost please allow me to say I'm truly sorry for the lack of blogs but a woman has been super busy. So like the title states, let me give you updates in what I'm doing with myself. The whole month of July I took a 5 week Microbiology course at my local community college. For those who don't know, I do have my BS in Biology so you all are probably thinking, "Jamale why are you taking a summer course then??" Well I'm trying to better myself and further my education. Therefore, meaning I want to go back to school silly!

Back in May 2010, I decided that I wanted to take another route of my life and apply my skills and apply to nursing school. I applied to one school in Virginia and that didn't work out. But I didn't stop there. I took $560 out of my pocket and paid for that class. It was a little harsh but much needed for me to apply for the next nursing school which is located in North Carolina!!! So yes boys and girls, if I do get accepted into the school, I will be relocated to North Carolina. (I'm nervous as hell!!!) So with all that being said, after I took the Microbiology course, which I received an A in, I had to send out all those papers, get a physical, get blood work and get shots, I was busy preparing for my future.

Currently, I'm starting back my bibical course that I'm taking at church and along with my community actitivities this upcoming fall. Like always, I love to keep myself busy. So it'll be many meetings, assessments, community events, volunteering and donation for me the next four months. *whew* I'm tired already just thinking about it all. LOL. Also I have seriously been "vlogging" on Youtube so I do more speaking now then typing but I'm back on here. So with all that, that's where I've been and preparing for.

I have still been doing my nails and hair, I just have been too busy/lazy to sit down at this PC and add any photos to this site. I know, I know, I'm horrible but I'm back at it like a crack addict. So I'm going to add them all at once and let them distrube on their own daily. So please bare with me. Thats all I have so far for you guys. I hope you all like the upcoming subjects, pics and poetry that I have for you all. Enjoy....

Jamale

Nail Color Of the Week

Hello Everyone!

I'm continuing my weekly color of Funky Fingers and this week's color is.....

Power Play by Funky Fingers

Hair Maintainence/Nail Polish Color of the Week

Hello everyone!

Sorry I've haven't shown yall what my nail colors and hair styles has been for the past 2-3 weeks. I've been super busy with taking a summer class. Anyway, the following pics are for the past month of July. For my hair, I mostly like my hair in bantu knots or pin ups so it's mostly curly. Lastly, my nails I love bright colors for the hot occasion so thats what I've been rocking! Let me know what yall think!!! Have a blessed one......

Last week's color was: Funky Fingers South Hampton Seafoam

Last Week's Hair Style: Bantu Knots with larger Bantu Knots in the front

*it was flat twisted in the front then big bantu knots the ends but I forgot to take a pic of it. But this is the flat look later in the week.*This week for my hair I just did two strand twists then twisted those two strands into a huge bantu knots. It just gave a wavy/curly look. Nothing too different than the previous picture.

This week's nail color: L.A Colors Magnectic Force

This color surprised me how bright it was once the sun hit it. It's actually an organge/peachy color so this is what it looks like while I was driving....

Hope you enjoyed!!!

Hair Maintainence

Hello People!

Sorry I haven't been blogging over the past week but I've been super busy. I decided to take a summer class for this "future" that I have planned for myself! Recently, I've been learning alot of styles from people on Youtube so I'm trying them out on both my mom and myself. So here's two styles that I've done over the past month. Hope yall enjoy! Have a blessed one.

Left: two cornrows with a twist. Back is completely out.

Right: Basket weave in the front and knots holding the rest of my hair going to the nap of my neck.

Nail Color of The Week!

Hello People!!
My nail color of the week isn't posted in my last nail polish post because I brought it afterwards. I was going into the beauty supply store to get some shampoo and conditioner and then BAM I saw this beautiful color!!! Anyway, hopefully yall will enjoy it.

Barbie Pink by KleanColors

Food, Sports, Sex and Video Games:The Way to a Man's Heart

I grew up with two brothers, a father and a bunch of uncles but men are still difficult to understand. No matter how much you try to dissect, break apart, or even relate to men, they are a totally different species from women. Now don't get me wrong, they're not stupid nor disconnected from the world, they're just wired a little differently from women.

As I matured, my understanding of men have also. I can say from my experiences from previous relationships, long talks with friends and family and awkward conversations with my father, I can state an opinion about men. They simply want a woman who are semi-understandable to their needs and wants along with some space. Men truly want a feminine woman who can act like "one of the boys", that don't trip about the simple matters of the world, that can watch the game, give great sex, cook and appreciate them for who they really are. It's that simple right? WRONG! Women have a different temperament from men. We love to cuddle, kiss, hug, are attention whores, love to shop, adore typical date movies, romantic evenings long walks and breakfast in bed; the complete opposite. Now not all women are like that, as a matter of fact I'm not a smothering woman because I too love my "space" too. But I know when to become that "attention whore" when I feel neglected.

Men now a days are mostly about money, sex, music, clothes, cars, hoes and video games. This is the harsh reality these days that us "hopeless romantics" have to face. The chivalrous man hardly exists today. We're now faced with more thugs, homosexuals, aspiring *fill in the blank* and lazy men than we had some 30 years ago. But we do still have a majority of men who are the opposite to those negative attributes but they have the damnest time finding a reasonable mate. Why you ask??? Women are now too into themselves and their own feelings, their wants and needs that they don't ask their men, mates, jump offs, "friends with benefits", husbands and fiance's what they need nor want. I can say, us women have become selfish, self suffient and self absorbed.

Men sometimes are the sole bread winner, while the women either sit at home and take care of the kids, spend up all their money and/or watch Maury's "3 Babies, 1 Father, Paternity Result" shows all day. When they come home to wind down, drink a beer, wine or liquor, the last thing they want to hear is our complaints, ideas and problems. Majority of the time, they want to zone out, eat, play video games, surf the net, commit to their hobbies, play with the kids, get some sex and go to sleep. Now that's real talk! I'm not saying that us women need to stand back and let our men simply walk over us, abuse/use us nor ignore us. I'm saying, ask your man how his day was, ask him if he's hungry, allow the kids to give daddy some time to breathe, rub his feet, his back, kiss him, hug him, simply show him how much he's been missed and loved. A man's ego loves to be stroke along with his manly counterparts. (I'm just saying, lol)

A man is going to be a man regardless if he has you or not. Therefore, incorporate yourself into his lifestyle, his hobbies and his friends. You'll never know how much you'll like what he's doing until you try it. If the man plays football, golf, basketball, soft ball, soccer, etc., see how you can support him and his team. Become a cheerleader, wear his number, have a bake sale, host monthly parties for the team, and/or buy him some new equipment. A man wants to know and see that you're there to support him in whatever he do. If not, there is room to creep and lie. You don't want that! Remember what you won't do, another woman will do but better.

Allow a man to have a reasonable time, day and hours to zone out in his own world as long as yall have an understanding of the rule and restrictions you all have agreed upon. If you know your man loves to come home play video games till dinner is ready, allow him to so. But after dinner you know you want some attention, demand that. A man is going to do whatever you allow him to do. That's something that my own father has told me on numerous occasions. If you all have a family, a MAN while make time for both his wife/kids and hobbies; he will be flexible. But a woman have to be more flexible, why? Because God has made us this way. We are the glue that holds a lot of things together.

Lastly, a man loves food and sex. Those two things are miserably hard for him not to have. Therefore, DO NOT DENY ANY MAN FOOD NOR SEX! This is just a road destined for failure especially if you all are married. Don't go to bed mad with your spouse but talk things out, agree to disagree, kiss and go to sleep in the same bed. This is important because this is what makes a marriage works. I am NOT married nor am I an expert but I know common sense when I see it. Again, I have learned a lot from my brothers, father, uncles and guy friends and family members. I do not take for granted the knowledge that they passed down to me. I'm simply expressing my thoughts because I have repeatedly been considered the "it" girl around men.

They've come to me and explained to me how I have a glow about myself, complimented me on how I carry myself in conversations and situations. They have asked me numerous amount of times, "Jamale why are you so cool?" I can't answer that question seriously because to some men I'm one way and to others I'm the best. I simply carry myself as myself. I don't fake nor do I cover up who I really am. I was raised around men. Men who know who and what they want. I was raised around men who played sports (my father and younger brother played football while my older brother played basketball). I sat there quiet for years watching games but then I started asking questions about the game, calling out plays, fouls, flags, etc. I don't know the whole game like a pro but I'm better than plenty of my female counterparts. I played video games with my brothers and watched them play it for hours while helping them out with ideas of how to beat their games. I observe, I'm very attentive, I'm open minded. Hence why I'm not like other females. I've learned men are just as complicated, complexed and fragile just like use females are. They desire, hurt, cry, get excited and are determined for the same things as we are, they just show it differently. Consequently, break out that nutshell and free your mind, fore your ass will follow!

Love Is A Lie

Love is not patient.

Love is not kind.


Love will take you and sneak an attack from behind.


Love is not sweet.


Love is not blind.


Love will anger any soul and it shows no sign.


Love is not perfect.


Love is not wisdom that comes with time.


Love is an angel in disguise.


Love will look you in the eye, smile and lie.

Hair Maintainence

So this week I've decided to do a basket weave for my hair. I should be learning new styles soon so I hope yall are enjoying!!

Nail Color of the Week

Hello everyone! My nail color of the week is......

Mint Apple by Sinful Colors

My Trip to the Beauty Supply Store....

So today I went to the beauty supply store and got some nail polish and eye shadows (my favs!). I came out with a steal so I wanted to share them with you. I'm debating which one I wanted to pick for the nail polish color of the week...so we shall see. Enjoy!

Left to Right:

Klencolor~Blue Pearl

Sinful Colors~Soul Mate

Sinful Colors~Mint Apple

Wild and Crazy~Larousse

Middle:

La Color~Magnetic Force

La Colors~Static Electricity

Front:

Tri Eyeshadow by NYX~

Shangri-La

NYX~ Red Head

Hair Maintainence

Hello you guys!

I just wanted to share with you all my experience of doing my own hair. Usually, I go to a salon or my hair dressers house to get my hair done but recently, I haven't been able to do so. (She has disappeared) Therefore, I've been doing my own hair for the past two months. I believe I'm going to share my hair journey of different styles on here so hope you all enjoy!!!

Bantu Knots

Left: with the Bantu Knots in for 3 days

Right: Bantu Knots taken down *frontal veiw*

Left: Side view

Right: Top view

Facial Care

Over the past 5 months, I must say my face has done a complete 360! I've always been the type that didn't have many acne problems nor pimples. If I did have one or two, I'll just simply wash my face more and keep my hands away from my face. But recently, this haven't been working for me.

Around March 2010, I've been experiencing more outbreaks, black/white heads and acne scars. I FREAK OUT!!! My body wants to wait until I'm 27 yrs. old to just do it's own thing! It's a little embarrassing for anyone to break out with a pimple but to continuously get them is getting beyond embarrassed. In fact, you become a little self conscious. Not because it's a pimple or little bumps but you're wondering "Are they looking at my eyes or the pimple on my forehead?" No one wants to have that feeling.

Therefore, I took it upon myself to try out some other alternatives to my skin care. I was using Ambi Daily Facial Scrub and that worked great. But the only thing I didn't like about the product is that it leaves behind a film on my skin. So I had to use my Astringent to remove that, otherwise, my face felt "heavy" in a way. Along with the facial wash, I was using Ambi's Facial Moisturizer. Now what I'm really feeling is that the "black products" are now putting SPF in the formulas. A lot of people of color don't realize that we too can hurt our skin by constant wear and tear in the sun.

Again, around March 2010, my face wasn't liking this product, and decided that it wanted to break out. I asked a good girlfriend of mines, a recommend facial wash that she likes, used or have heard work really well. She then told me how she came upon a facial wash that our mutual friend left over her house. She showed me the bottle and I immediately went out and brought the product. (I was tired of these little bumps on my face!!!) So I went out and brought the Biore' Pore Unclogging Scrub. This cleanser was great! It immediately (within the week) cleared up my face. On the front of it said that it's better than Proactiv. Now I don't know because I never used Proactiv but I must say I was impressed!

So I decided that I needed to change my moisterizer too because like my Ambi cleanser, my moisterizer came to an end. I didn't know that Biore' had three different lines of facial regiems. But I came across the Biore' Skin Preservation. Whats different about this is it's a moisterizer and a spf 30!!! This moisterizer saved my life. LOL. But it's a very refreshing feeling moisterizer and keeps my skin pretty.

Along with my Biore' facial wash and moisterizer, I decided that I wanted to try some other products of theirs. I haven't done much trying because my skin is very sensitive but I have tried the Deep Cleansing Pore Strips. These strips focus on the areas of your nose and under your eyes. It uplifts those horrible white/blackheads that linger in your pores. It's very easy to use. Just a matter of watering your nose area, apply the strip, and leave on for 10-15 mins. Then wooo-lah, you have fantasic skin! Now I was using them once a week and then I had to stop because I was breaking out. Not because of the product but due to my sensitive skin, I was overusing the product and it was drying out my skin. So I would recommend you using it once a month. Unless, you have hard core skin and you don't mind the dryness around your nose area, knock yourself out! LOL. I really like this product though. So I'll continue to use it. I can see the difference in my face.

Now something thats different between my face and yours, is that I have a combination skin type. Therefore, in the morning my face can be dry-normal but by the end of the evening, my face is oily as hell!!! It simply can look like I have thrown a lot of oil on my face and my pimples isn't a great background either. So I had to wash my face in the evenings so I won't get anymore bacteria and pimples on my face. But I needed also needed to get rid of those past acne scars aka hyperpigmentation. Those are the worst for people of color!!! I'm sometime a picker of my pimples (yea I know it's bad!!) but you have to understand no one wants to walk around with a huge pimple on their chin/forehead/cheeck,etc. So sometimes I'll bust them. Therefore, it'll leave scars later. So I didn't want to have a clear face and a lot of dark pigmentations on my skin. So I googled and Youtubed how I can get rid of them and I came across this...

Yep thats what it is, sugar and lemon! I thought "what will this little concocktion going to do for my face??" Women on Youtube swear by it! I saw it many years ago ask a nautural exfloxiation but not as a hyperpigmentation treatment. So since many women lived by these simple natrual grown products, I said I'll try it. So mid-April, I stared using the lemon/sugar scrub. At first, it burned like hell!!! Yes the lemon was penetrating my pores but thats a good thing. It was getting those areas where I had those dark spots (mostly on my left cheeck). The women do it either everyday, once a week or once a month. Myself, I use it 2-3 times a week in subsitute for my nightly cleasner (the Biore'). It really makes your skin look and feel great! See God put things here for us to use naturally, it's just a matter of using them.

Now usually afterwards, my senstive skin shows its true colors and is dying to for some moisterinzing. But before I do that, depending on the day, I use two different masks. I came across a mint mask (CVS brand of Queen Helene's Mint Mask) for those stubborn pores that were open, allowing the bacteria to enter. This is suppose to srink my pores and refresh my face. I usually use this mask twice a week, Tues and Thurs. It's a really cool sensation and I can feel my pores literally srinking. LOL. I know it sounds weird but it works for me. I'm happy with the results. Now on the other days, Mon, Wed, and Frid., I'll do another mask to whiten up those hyperpigmentation marks or to srink my pimples. The Mario Badescu Whiting Mask....... This mask isn't bad either. At first, I was soley using this before the mint mask. My only problem with the product is, I have a white film left on my face. I sorta look like a clown once I'm finished washing my face. No matter the water temperature I use to wash my face, the product is still on my face. Each mask I usually leave on for like 10 mins, where the mint mask come off with no problem but the Mario Badecsu is a lot of washing off. It works to srink my pimples but as far as whiting, I really don't know since I'm using the lemon/suguar scrub along with both masks. I don't think I'm going to buy this product again because of the left over white film. Other than that, I have no complaints about the product and I plan to use it up.

Lastly, I changed my astringent and nightly moisterizer. I was using Sea Breeze Sensitve Skin Astringent and Ponds Dry Skin Cream but they weren't working for me. The Sea Breeze was a little harsh for my skin. So I needed to change it to Witch Hazel or find an astringent with Witch Hazel in it. Witch Hazel is a natural toner, that evens out the hyperpigmentation along with cleansing your pores. So I stubbled upon a astringent that has both witch hazel and is a toner, which is Olay's Refreshing Toner.

Funny thing is, it actually smells good and it doesn't dry up my skin like the other astringents did. As you can see, I've been using it up quite a bit and I'm satisfied with the product. I use astringent more in the summer time than in winter because of the weather. As a result of the heat, my skin gets more oily in the summer than in the winter. In the winter, my skin is thristy for moisterizer so I only use astringent once a day in the winter. Like I said previously, my skin is oily as hell at the end of the day in the summer. So the astringent helps even out the hyperpigmentation plus tame that oil. Lastly, for a nightly moisterizer, I use Bio Oil (I have the CVS brand). This skin treatment is suppose to even out those acne scars, stretch marks and moisterize dry skin. Pefect for me!
This oil gives my skin the enough moisture needed after a long day for sun, heat and abuse. I usually apply it before bed but I dont go to sleep right after the application. The reason why not because it'll greese up my pillows! You have to allow time to penetrate your deeper layers of skin. Really rub the oil into your skin and you'll be fine. It leaves my face refresh for the morning!

Twilight

You fall into my arms and I die inside. That's how you make me feel every time I hold you. I have this overwhelming feeling of discomfort. I'm lost. Alone. Vulnerable.

You hold a special part of me many men will never to be able to see. I don't know how I allowed myself to fall into this lonely hole so deep. I fell in love with a man who don't possess a heart. He lives off the pain from others. He who holds my heart hands it back every chance he gets.

I hold you close. I play with your face. I admire you. I want you. Every time you hold me, I get cold. I feel clamy, waiting to pass out from this unforgiven feeling.....I then get furious! I want to hate you, forget the man whom I feel in love with. I prayed secretly to ask God to let you go but I had no faith in that prayer. I'm not ready to let go of a possibility, a possibility of what though?

You have shown me that you're a man with a one track mind but I always seem to fall back into your world. Alice in the Wonderland is what I am now. Slowly falling into that dark hole again. Feeling myself loosing control of myself, thoughts and body. I hate you, I really do but somehow my love for you overrule. Let me go please. Release me from this voodo that you have over me.

I'm slowly loosing myself while loving you....

Written 1/23/2010
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Recovering Addict

The dictionary defines love as tender, passionate affection. I define it as a drug. A drug that so many of us chase afterwards, loose our minds, houses, friends, jobs, cars and even religion over. Really think about it, there is really no difference between a drug addict and a person in love.
An addict will rob, steal and sale their bodies for the next high. They will tighten their lips, arms, thighs and feet to feel that liquid poison crawl within their veins or being blown out of their brains. Addicts will curse, isolate, withdraw themselves from the world. But "normal" people look down upon them.
Its a shame you really don't see the difference between an addict and a person in love. A person in love will too rob, steal, lie and sale their souls for the feeling of being loved. They will open their legs to lust, open their mouths for foreplay and they will tighten their muscles for the penetration of his thrust. They will lay in bed past three and forget about the God they have once seen. You see there really isn't a difference.
A person in love will lay down and have babies by a man whom is selfish in every way just to desire love. They will purposely forget, isolate, consume, and wrap their lives around love. They will soon forget about the world. You see there really isn't a difference between you and me....
Hello my name is Jamale and I'm a love addict.
I was once lost. I was once engulfed in a man. I was once living my life, hourly, minutely, secondly around his time. I was chasing a hope and a prayer; a selfish desire. I was once laying down many times, anticipating the thrust of lust. The penetration ran me wild. I once lost my mind. I lost the world.
I later broke free after the man shown me whom he really meant to be. He digused himself as a gentleman. A man whom I could trust, love and cherish. He was a lie. Another "drug" for me to get high. A deadly disease of the mind. I prayed to be set free but it wasn't until I saw the reflection of the drug addict in the mirror, staring back at me.
I am recovering addict, over lover. Recovering from a love I can't get over.

Written 5/16/2010
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

My Introduction of Love to You

*Lathan*

You were suppose to be a man that I adored from a distance. A fantasy, never a dream come true. My imagination ran wild whenever your name come up. My thoughts seemed to break free from the world. Drifting to a place that I thought I knew.

I feel in love with a beautiful stranger.

I dedicated my time and devotion only to you. You were suppose to be a man that I knew from a far, never a man that I could fall in love with. I'm drowning in a world that's invaded by every memory of you. I can't help but to fall deeper and deeper in love with you. You have me stuck...lost...engulfed....mesmerized.

This is a love poem is about you.

I layed many sleepless nights thinking about you. Playing with every little thought that I could do to you. I wanted you and I wanted you bad but my lips couldn't produce the right words to say how much I adored you. Now I'm fighting. Fighting a battle with my emotions. This is an unfair claim to the game. I want to express to you how bad I exclusively want only you but you're not ready. You're not ready to be loved correctly. You're allowing your pride steal away your chance at real love. But...

I'm still dedicated to only you.

Love is tatted on my left arm as a sign, a reminder, hope that it still exists. I look up at your face and smile because its evident that love is slowly creeping its ways out of the shadows. You're a sign that God exists. You're a reminder that I can dream. You're my hope to love again. You gave me life. A world renewed.

I will always love you.

Ink written on a pad, words spoken, memories imprinted and tears roll down my face. I'm in love with a beautiful stranger that doesn't know I exist. He sees me. He breathes me. He lays with me. But he don't really know me. My heart bleeds every time I smell his presence. I cry internally every time he smiles. He cuts me with his words. But still I'm not ready to let go. Fearful because I believe in something those can't really see. I believe in an everlasting love between you and me. But when will you see?

This is only my introduction of love to you.

Written 12/31/2009
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile