WHY AM I SINGLE...YOU ASK???: 10 Reasons WHY!

Before I start this blog post and someone ask me a this silly question, "Are you single?" The answer to that question is YES! I'm single by choice, now that's a HUGE difference. I can get into any relationship that so happens to come my way but I choose who I want to be with. If that person isn't meant to be with me, then for the sake of having someone isn't for me. I have too much pride for myself and my patience is too thin!! I'm not pressed to be someones "girl", I want to be someones wife!

Now a days a lot of people wonder why they're single though. Lets face this fact, the cards (statistics) isn't in our favor. With majority of the population in jail, don't want to commit, alternative lifestyles, mentally unstable and some say they gay/lesbian population went up (I'm not sure about that, so don't get on me), that leaves a lot of single and desperate people out here that has given up hope or just became comfortable being a "baby mama/daddy." Listed is just somethings that might hurt your hopes of finding a mate that will commit.....

1.} FUNKY APPEARANCE

       Appearance is the first thing and imprint that you leave with the person who sees you. How can you expect anyone to be attracted to you if you're clothes are falling off your body or better yet, they're too small for your frame? Baggy or skinny jeans aren't sexy either. I and many others don't want to see what color boxers you have on today or we don't want to wonder if your balls can breath while you walk. Give yourself some slack but not enough that'll hang you before you could even open your mouth to say hello.

2.} YOUR BREATH IS DEATH!
      Hygiene is a must in every relationship!!! Please whatever you do, make sure you take care of your mouth! You can have the most horrible teeth in the world but no one can say your breath is stinky if you make sure you brush your teeth, floss those gums and use mouth wash to back it all up.  If you don't have a tooth brush/paste available while you're out, mints and gum will be a great substitute until you can handle that. Don't have people believing you're a dream come true and your breath kills the dream!

3.} PRIORITIES
      What is one of the first things someone ask you when you go out on a date? "Tell me about yourself" is usually the question that first comes up. If you have a blank stare, avoid the question and/or don't know what you do or want to do with your life, you're going no where fast! It's the year of 2012 and everyone has a grind. What is yours? What do you want out of life? Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 20 years? Do you have any goals that you want to accomplish besides becoming the next rapper, singer, producer or actor? What is your daily hustle? Stability is a must!!

4.} HOW ARE YOUR KIDS?
      Kids are a true blessing from God but if you treat them like a burden that pulls money out of your pocket, 9 times out of 10 that's a turn off! If you can't take care of your kids that you do currently have, how can you provide for your future seeds? Stop having 10 kids, 9 baby mothers or being baby mama #3 you wouldn't have no problems in the dating world. Whatever your previous issues with love and insecurities is the past, what are you trying to do to better your future??


5.} WANNA GO DUTCH?
      How can you say you want to go out and date, meet new people or have a good time if you're looking at the menu like you're ready to run as soon as the waiter ask if you're ready to order. A lot of times, people are stuck on trying to make a great first impression that they forget the truth. If you're broke and you can't afford anyone, then tell them that or wait until you have the funds to do so. If they like you then they'll stay and work with you. Not every date requires money also. But don't get there and expect the person to pay for their side of the bill unless yall made that agreement ahead of time.

6.} SORRY, I'M GOING TO GO KICK IT WITH CRAIG AND 'EM, SEE YA WHEN I SEE YA!
      If you're doing "you", enjoying life, not ready to settle down or no one peaks your interest, then stay single! Live a single life!! If you come across someone like that, then don't touch them with a 10 foot pole! If you don't want a friends with benefits plan, keep it moving. You might be blocking your blessing to see who you're meant to be with.

7.} ASS, ASS, ASS!
     Sex is complicated, not the people. Sex changes the whole dynamics of a relationship. If you're selling sex in your clothes, your conversation or pictures, that's how people is going to treat you. You will keep attracting the wrong people. But put yourself in a place where you'll meet people of your caliber and interests. Take a walk at the park, go to cultured events, go to church, speed date, something! But stop going to the clubs and bars thinking you're going to be meet Mr./Mrs. Right.

8.} GOT A CLEAN HOUSE?
      Believe it or not but how you keep your house and car is how your personality is. What is around you is a reflectance of what type of person you are. Profilers can tell  your whole life based on how you clean, how you fold your clothes, if you up keep your car with the latest oil change, if you keep your car clean and smelling good. No one want to go to your house after a romantic evening and see clothes everywhere, rings around the toilet and the bath tub, and bugs running around! That turns the anyone off quick!

9.} LIES! LIARS! FAIRY TALES!
      Why lie about simple stuff? Unless you've been trained by the government to be an international spy or assassin, your lies will catch up with you! You'll make yourself look like the biggest fool and you'll keep finding yourself in the single category.

10.} THE LIST OF STANDARDS
        EPIC FAIL! Everyone has a fairy tale list of what they think their mate should have and look like but if that list is constantly being used during the dates and none of the qualities aren't being checked off, maybe you're being too stuck up. I'm not saying that you can't have standards because I do myself  but don't block a possible relationship just because he's a divorced janitor with one child when you want a NFL player with no kids and a $35 million contract. HAVE MANY SEATS! You will be tested daily to see if you choose wisely. Not every big booty girl is going to be faithful. Yes she's a stripper at the club to pay for college but some do have sex for dollars. We're not made to be perfect so why are you looking for the perfect person? Be fair and reasonable.

GOOD WILL HUNTING!

First Date Top 10 Tips!!!!

A first date is always a nerve racking situation but if you stay calm, look your best and act normal all should go well. But since many people rarely go on dates now a days, a lot of people don't know how to act. Over the years, I have learned the do's and don'ts to dating through my own or other people's experiences.
Here's my top ten first date tips......

Tip #1
Be prepared for your time:
A lot people don't understand that it's some prep work before a first date. So you have to allow yourself enough time to get home to change/bathe/apply make up/etc, get to the location and get there on time...

Tip #2
Get to your date early:
You want to get there early because maybe it's a spot you've never been before so you need to check out the surroundings. Maybe they don't have valet, you need to take the train to the location, find parking, traffic, etc. You don't want to have your date waiting. Nor do you want to be so frustrated by all the unplanned events before your date.

Tip #3
Greet your date properly:
Depending on you all status or what you'll allow, greet your date accordingly. Since it's the first date in this situation, you may want to give a person a handshake or hug. Something like a kiss off the break sends signals that you want something else. So be careful how you greet that person.

Tip #4
Depending on your status is how you interact with you date:
Don't allow a person to reach over and try to grab your privates while you all are out or even in the car. A woman should act like a lady and a man should act like a perfect gentleman. There shouldn't be any unnecessary touching in any form. If the guy want to touch your knee during the movie or you want to interlock arms also, depending how you feel, it's all up to you. Remember a man will treat you the way you allow him to.

Tip #5
Stop flirting so much!!!:
It's cute to let a person know that you really digging them and want to show them in all ways possible that you're physically attracted to them but when all clothes are on, you really need to get to know this person. Get to the bottom of things. Ask questions pertaining to their goals, family, friends, experiences, children, career,etc. Get to know the person, not what they can do for you.

Tip #6
Allow a man to be a man!:
This is hard for a lot "independent" women now a days but let the man to lead the date. I'm not saying allow him to lead you right to his house, NO! I'm saying stop telling the man what you want and what you all are going to do. You make that man feel like he's out with a controlling woman and loose interest. Allow him to ask you what you want to do next and where do you feel comfortable going. But stop being so "independent", that's why your butt is single! LOL

Tip #7
Do NOT GET DRUNK ON YOUR FIRST DATE!!:
This is so sad that I have to insert this tip but boy oh boy I tell ya, a lot of people get out here and show their ass because they don't know how to act. The feel as though the alcoholic beverage is going to "calm their nerves" but really it shows your ass! You need a sober and clear mind to make the right decisions, to enjoy the date and for the date to really enjoy you. No person want the first impression to be that they either can handle their drink or they're an alcoholic.

Tip #8
Body Language is everything during a date!!:
A person can tell if you're really diggin them or you're clearly not interested based on your body language. Your body shows a person how much you're enjoying the conversation by the raise of the eyebrows, the lean in of the body, the gentle touch on the hand, the look up from a drink, a smile, laughterand a gentle tap. All those there tell a person that they can pursue you further or simply end the date early. Remember not all people like to be touched though.

Tip #9
Fellas, for the first date pay for the meal:
It's very traditional for a man to pay for a meal. Women was raised to let a man spoil you and show you much they appreciate you and this goes hand and hand with a first date. Not saying that you have to go all out and splurge on this woman but show her that you're not cheap and you have no problem paying for activities of the first date.

Tip #10
End the date properly:
This is the nervous part of the date....to kiss or not to kiss?? This is simply all up to you! I can not answer this question for you. Again this depends on your status, your body language, and how you want to end the date. So choose wisely, don't end up in no one's bed...you may not get to see what the future holds.

SO GET OUT AND DATE!!!

Why I DON'T Want to Raise my Children in the Nation's Capitol

I've come to the conclusion over the past six months, that my mind is maturing faster than my body. Seriously, that may sound a little arrogant but I swear to you it's the truth. I've been raised amongst a generation who believed in respect, love and admiration. They loved one another, their family, friends, job and life but now a days things aren't the same.

My parents are true Washingtonians along with my brothers and I. My parents were born in the late 50's but they are true 70's offsprings. They told/tell me stories all the time how they could sit outside on the stoop with their neighborhood peers and just talk, go to clubs and actually have a good time with being in fear of their lives, and how they had friends who happen to fall in love with the drug game, regardless if they were selling or using end up died, still struggling or in jail. I've learned from their stories and their music. I enjoyed my Saturdays waking up early (sometimes) and cleaning the house with some old Phyllis Hyman, Bloodstone, The Moments, Blue Magic, Whitney Houston, The Whispers, etc. just to name a few. Their music intregied me. I'm a person with a fine tuned ear for a good beat and excellent lyrics and thats what they had it back then. They love and they loved hard. They didn't disrespect themselves or their lovers for a dollor sign. Based on my parents upbringings they molded me to be the person I am today. Yes, I did do some rebellion and smart tounges were thrown here and there but I always have respected the struggle my parents came from. Based on those morals and rules I abdied, I learned that life isn't easy and you will have more down's than up's.

Everyday when I get on the train headed back home. My peace, my santuary, my world away from the world, I have to go through hell just to get there. I find myself everyday shaking my head at some teenage girl popping her mouth, loudly at some girl that ran her mouth wrongly to her. Some little boys smoking cigarettes when they don't even have a lick of hair on their face yet. Another black young boy "speaking his mind" with curse words that pierce my soul everytime I walk past them. Speak your mind with out curse words young sirs. Fore if all you can speak with is with curse words, then you really don't have much to say. I tell myself all the time that I'm glad that I'm not in school anymore. It actually does hurt me deep inside to see my youth, my peers, my culture is slowly going down the stony road to ignorance. I know when I was in school (8 yrs. ago) we had more respect for our elders and for one another. We wouldn't dare speak curse words to or around any elder, for that a cause for you to get your mouth slipt by one of their children. When we fought one another, we didn't jump into other people fights, we let them fight fairly. No guns, knives, razor blades or any other weapons. Once we saw it was getting out of control, we had to stop it. But NOT anymore!

Our youth is not being taught by our familes and commuity but by the streets. The streets have always been there but since the 80's and early 90's the streets had mentors, programs and the community to come in to help raise our children. Hence, I was a product of those times. I'm a true 80's baby and proud of it. My community and elders also helped raised me. Whenever I said or did something that was inappropriate, my parents was immediately told. They hardly had any problems with me becasue I never followed crowds but I did go through a phase where I hung around the "in crowd." Thank God I realized that I didn't feel comfortable around that particular crowd because if I was the one to follow it, maybe I would have been one of those kids that I'm blogging about now. Funny.......

The children today are more focused on cars, clothes and the opposite/same sex. They're always trying to live in life in the fast lane, wear the flyiest clothes, feel welcomed so they'll try something new sexually. Word of advice, it's not cute to keep up with fashion, thats why this economy is so F'ed up now. We're so busy trying to keep up with other contries that we can't even pay our debts to other countries, feed our poor, get the homeless off the street and most importantly give every US citizen free health insurance. Like Malcolm X father told his mother, "Credit is the first step into debt and back into slavery." People didn't see it as that until the numbers fell last year. You are now a slave to your own debt. Stop letting money control you and you control money! How do you think the rich get rich and stay rich? Think about. Cars are a good thing but not when you treat your car better than your family or friends. I know someone who washes, cleans, get check up's on their car more than they do for their own health. Ask yourself this once the car is gone, who/what do you have now? Nobody but Jesus...LOL. Lastly, the fade of trying another sexual lifestyle is your business BUT remember it's your true prefence. Don't try it just because your friends are doing it. This isn't a game to be played. The LTGB lifestyle is a lifestyle that they didn't choose. They are who they are. They don't have to go out and flaunt what they already know. If you are the person that God has put forth among this Earth, than be who he made you to be. Don't follow crowds, be a square and don't fit into cirlces. You end up dying inside.....

I simply don't want to children to be raised around such ingorance. I don't want them to experience the harshness of the blind. I want my children to have the oppurtunity to life well beyond their peers in their ambitions. I want them to of course have a life better than what I lived. I have the choice in my hand how to raise my children properly because I wasn't a product of being raised by a child. My parents were adults when they had me. They taught me right and wrong ways of doing things, speak your mind and love your family more but secondly under God. I appreciate the time that I have spent here being a Washingtonian but I want my children to have a better outlook on life. I know I will be stern, non judgemental and loving to them. I don't want them to ever have to want to be like the most "prettiest" girl in school or the flyiest guy in his class. I will teach them how to love and respect, enjoy life to the fullest and love God above all things. I want my kids to become the next Langston Hughes, W.E.B Dubois, Marian Anderson, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr. and now Barack Obama. I want my children to be leaders in their own class! Lead one, teach one. Heal one, help one. Make their mama proud!

What happened to the historic Nation's Capitol?

*Hugs*

Hug: to clasp tightly in the arms, especially with affection; embrace.

Hugs are something so simple but meaningful. I'm pretty sure a lot of people take advantage and really don't care about hugs but when you further your thinking, you will see it's quite amazing! Hugs are ocassionally something that people do to say a friendly hello, nice meeting you, I miss you or nice seeing you again. But a hug can also mean other things such as damn I'm really attracted to you, this will be my only way to get closer to this person, I don't want to ever let you go or I miss the feeling of you/smell of you. Hugs are universal!

To me, hugs are what the defintion is, to clasp tightly in the arms, especially affection; embrace. When I hug someone I want them to know that I care for them, love them and truly want them to feel my love pour out my soul into theirs. For a long time my ex-boyfriend use to tell me when I kissed and huged him he could tell that I actually did love him by the way I kissed him so softly and deeply and huged him with such passion. I didn't understand what he was saying, I just thought he was trippin because he was in love but now I get it. I realized what he was talking about when I started hugging other people. I would get the fake "grandma" hugs with the pats on the back, that crap right there got me heated! If you have deep feelings, respect or admiration for that person you would take them into an embrace and show them how you feel. Don't hug a person like you don't want to be bothered or you just trying to tickle their fancy.

My best friend hugged me last week and gave me one of the worst hugs and I told him to get off me. I immediately pushed him away and told him if he's not going to hug me right then don't touch me at all! Yes people I was in my feelings! Right afterwards he did make it up to me by giving me a great "see you later" hug while we departed to our seperate residences. A hug can make a simple day great, a bad day amazily sweet and a shy person open up. It's the quick pick me upper that can settle any negative feelings if applied correctly. Sometimes when hugging it doesn't hurt to whisper in that person's ear and tell them how you really feel. Love them, take in that moment for it's a sec in time where you will implant that memory in your subconscience.

My point being is embrace with love and affection or don't hug at all!

Is Bill Cosby Right???

A little over a year ago, Bill Cosby came out with a vengeance to the black community. He was sick and tired, tired of being sick and tired with his own race and I don't blame him! Over the past 20 years, our race (African American/Blacks) has changed tremulously. We can not keep blaming the "white man" for all our problems is his philosophy. We as a culture have to stand up and take responsibility for what we're doing wrong.

Take for example, there is an alarming rise of HIV/AIDS rates, premarital sex and single parenting in the Black community. You don't find it uncommon to have a young, teenage mother walking alone with two or three kids with all different Daddies! I'm going to say this, I don't agree with everything that Bill Cosby is saying. He can be kind of harsh and rude but at least he's someone who's bringing light to this underlying issue! I find it unbelievable how I can go on a website such at "YOU KNOW YOU'RE DEAD AZZ WRONG" and see our black women everyday exploiting themselves for money and attention. This isn't the first website like this but the most amusing one for me right now.(Hey DurtyMo!) LOL. In a lot of these pictures you can see on any given day, how these women flaunt every nook and cranny of their body for someone to take a picture of them. They will do the most unusual sex positions or things to "please" their mates with their children in the background. *blank stare* How dare they corrupt the youth?! These young babies are growing up mimicking everything that they see their parents are doing to the cameras. What makes it so bad, they even show their daughters how to "pop that coochie on a head stand" like they do at work!!! Again Black people we have to do better!

In a way, I believe our Black culture are slowly hating themselves and they don't see the damage that they're producing. Some blogs ago, I blogged about how I'm happy being nappy. A lot of women have told me that I'm crazy for locking such "beautiful" hair and they will never let go of that lye relaxer. Let me repeat myself, nappy is not for everyone. But when you start putting weaves in your hair down to your butt and claiming that's all yours because you paid for it, now that's a damn shame! Why can't you be happy with what God has given you? Have you noticed how a lot of the white women plump their lips fuller to get those Black lips? Or better yet, everyone is getting a butt lift! You have so many young women who look up to you and want to be just like you. I can remember how I wanted my hair to grow just like Aaliayh. I adore and cherished her for being so real and the typical around the way girl. I would slick my hair down and part it just like hers. I wanted my hair to hang long and proud just like hers. I was so shocked when I was in high school that Aaliyah's hair wasn't relaxed, it was natural! Her stylist would just hood dry with a wrap, flat iron and curl. Her hair was so use to it,that finally it just layed there perfectly always. I admired her "natural" beauty but I didn't understand my "natural" beauty just yet.

It took me years to accept myself for what I am now. I am perfect in God's eyes. So what I don't have that big donkey Kong butt, melon breasts, super curvy hips, long hair and cat like eyes! I am a brown skin, nappy headed, educated, nerdy, beautiful BBW! I flaunt whatever I have but in a classy way. I'm a woman at ALL times! I can only change so much of my physical weight but I will always be "PoeticMind" no matter what. I never followed crowds and still don't. But I find a lot of my female friends/acquaintances want to be the next "it" girl or the life of the party. We find this daily in our gossip pages. The girl that does everything when she's drunk. *SMH* These girls (not women!) make me sick and embarrassed. I see how a lot of cultures/religions sometimes look down upon us. I was once that young lady who was dwelling down that spiny road but luckily I found myself before it was too late. Too late to unclaim that baby daddy, lost of education, working dead end jobs, going to the club every weekend while my parents watch my child/children, and living in the fast lane. Steady flirting with every guy that I meet and hoping that he makes me his next "wifey." LOL. This crap is getting old ladies!

Gentlemen (using the term lightly) you're just as wrong as the last foul woman. How can you keep having sex with all these different women from the clubs, hoping that you remembered to put on a condom the night before. Trying to holler at every PYT (pretty young thang) that walks past your sight while you're holding your little son or daughter. Your sons treat women just like his father does and the daughter will learn her first relationship based on love from her Daddy. You have to remember even though you didn't request to have a child, they're God's gift for you to take care of, STOP DENYING YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! No child asks to be born and be denied. Rejection hurts. Bill Cosby has never had to endure any of these thing but he see it everyday just like any culture. Why are so many attacking him and telling him to shut up and sit down? He actually has a point! Our elderly grandparents tell us all the time how to respect one another, especially the elderly, love thy neighbor, stick up for one another, love your spouse like you love God and most importantly be a man/woman and take care of your responsibilities.

We have to teach our children that what we're doing now isn't right. Our children are our future. Without them, our practices, ideas, cultures, routines, religion, customs, etc. will not continue. They are the ones who have to carry the torch once we're gone. I feel sorry for my children when I finally have some. I want to teach them the right and wrong ways of doing/saying things. I want them to study mannerisms, attitudes, faces, reactions and their surroundings. I want them to be better than what I am. I want them to love themselves, flaws and all and let the world fall in love with them. Not some man/woman who told them how cute/sexy/fine/beautiful they are. I want people to see my children for what they really are, God's gifts to this world. We have to teach and raise our children better than what our parents did for us. Protect them, for they are our future.

So do you believe Bill Cosby is right, Has Black Middle Class lost their minds?? Comment

Club Etiquette

Last night I decided to go out with my cousins to this respectable Reggae club. My cousins and I range in ages, 27,25 and 23. We are all on the same level of partying standards and we know when enough is enough. I don't go out as often as my 23 yr. old cousin do but I do know a thing or two about club etiquette.

When we first walked into the club, first off the bouncer was trying to talk to my younger cousin. She is very beautiful and curvy so what man don't want to holla? But as we made our way to the bar, an unknown guy was watching her. We decided that we wanted to stand in front of this room heater since there wasn't a lot of people there just yet due to it being fairly early still. As we were standing there, men were flocking over to my cousin. Now let me explain, NO my cousin didn't have anything hanging out, swinging, showing or calling for immediate attention unlike the other women standing around us, like I said earlier she's curvy! So what kills me (not like I'm hating) but why stand around women like we're some type of meat and you're ready to go in for the kill?? Wow bammas can yall back up and give a sista 15 feet? LOL.

As time goes on and the music begin to really play, my older cousin and I decided that we wanted to get closer to the dance floor and "wine our dutty hips" as the Islanders say. Little did we know we left our younger cousin to the wolves!!! A guy approached her (the one who saw here at the bar) and asked why such a pretty lady is sitting by herself? She proceeded to tell him that she wasn't feeling the music at that time and she's fine. Well he wanted to buy her a drink in the meantime. OK cool but the kicker is he wanted her to sit down and let him get the drink! WHAT?! Ummmm no sir, she told him she would follow him to the bar because she doesn't know nor trust him. I guess you can say this was the start of a "beautiful" relationship. LOL.

Rule #1: If you buy a lady a drink, that does NOT give you the right to stalk her all damn night! You can get to know someone without alcohol.

Rule #2: Ladies if you don't want this stalking to occur, politely say no thanks and buy your own. It will truly work out in the end! *smile*

My younger cousin finally decided to join us on the dance floor with her "boyfriend" in tow. But it was this one guy that was staring my older cousin down from head to toe. He was the most rudest person that you could ever met! He busted in between my younger cousin and I to get to my older cousin just to get rejected. When I noticed that he was still standing directly in front of me and backing up, I nicely tapped him on his shoulder and told him that I was dancing and you're in my space to do so, he waved me off. My older cousin informed him that he was being rude and was violating our space. Oh he didn't like that! So he acted like my cousin didn't blow him off and took his anger out on us. He proceeded to tell us that he didn't want none of us to touch nor talk to him. We were like cool but you are the one who's standing in front of us all in our dance area. So I guess he wanted to taunt us and act like he was going to throw his drink on us and we had that attitude like "we wish a ni99a would!" We're fam and we're not going to let nothing happen to us. He kept circling around us and talking to us guys, pointing at us like we were supposed to be scared. I BUSTED OUT LAUGHING! I'm not scared of nobody but Jesus sir! NEXT

Rule #3: Don't drink if you can't hold your liquor properly.

Rule #4: Don't get mad if a girl isn't feeling you. It's alright, she wasn't the one for the night so don't stalk her. You're only making her madder.

Finally after my older cousin kept getting hit on by random, drunk men I decided that I wanted to go sit down since I've been dancing in heels for an hour straight. While I was over there my older cousin had a dance floor stalker looking all over the club for her and my other cousin had guys waiting in line to talk to her. I just shook my head at all this drama and thanking God this wasn't my night that I wasn't getting harassed like I always do. We observed this one "couple" who requested that this random guy get off the wall next to our table so he can really enjoy his dance from this beastly looking woman. While this monkey humping was going next to me, my cousins left me alone for a little while. This is the point of the night were I'm observing the environment/people. I noticed several of women with dresses on that made them look like they were pregnant, showed all their rolls or stretch marks.

Rule #5: Look at yourself front, back and sideways when you look into the mirror. If it don't look right then it's not right!

Rule #6: Stop showing everything that you can offer to the club and then give the men the side eye when you don't like the way he's approaching you. It's what's you're selling!

Rule #7: Freak a guy in a classy way. Don't dip it low like you're a stripper! Give him a seductive dance that will have him smiling while receiving it.

Moving on: The monkey's to my right were exchanging numbers while this crazy man was dancing spiratically to my left, I rolled my eyes. I was constantly reminding myself this is the reason why I don't do the club scene anymore. This crap gets old! So the beastly looking woman's friend asked could she sit down where my older cousin was sitting and I told her it was fine until my cousin came back. While she was sitting there, the beastly woman demanded that she go out on the dance floor and find whatever she lost of hers. She was calling her all types of "bitches and hoes" that I just couldn't believe my ears! This is how you talk to your good girlfriends now a days? Chiiiiiillllleee please, I'm not a bitch and I'm far from a hoe! The other beastly woman's friend was helping look for whatever was missing and decided she wanted to say something to me while I was sitting there. She leaned over in my ear and ask me " I know you didn't come to the club to sit down?" I smile and told her that I had danced earlier that night. But then I thought to myself, Who the hell are you and why are you in my business? If I choose to come to the club and do nothing but be a wallflower then that my business! *eye roll* Needless to say I got up after my younger cousin motioned for me to come on the dance floor, perfect timing! After 3:00am we finally all agreed that we had enough of this madness. My older cousin was going home to her man and kids, while my younger cousin and I were going home to our sanity. Thank God
BTW: The monkey man that was dancing with beastly woman, decided he wanted to grab my arm as I was proceeding to tell my friend who bar tends there good nite. That monkey wanted my number. EWWW you're nasty! Chiiiiillllleeee bye! LOL

Rule #8: Don't go to the club looking for something, you might get what you asked for but in a bad way.

Rule #9: Sometimes it's just too many men in the club to one woman. Don't hawk a one woman all night because she's tired by the end of the last convo. She'll have an attitude when you approach her.

Rule #10: If you don't have no money, take your broke a$$ home! Stop booty tootin for drinks ladies, it isn't cute.

Rule #11: If you're a bouncer and you're trying to talk to a young lady when she's leaving the club, don't you think she's going to say no because she knows you're hollering at every cutie that walks through the door?? (unless she's a hoodrat and really don't care)

"Online Sluts"

Before I start off, let me stress to you that this isn't anything offensive to hurt any one's feelings. This is truly my personal opinion! Now that that's out the way.....

Since the Internet has been up for the past 20 yrs (?) it has been a serious gateway for communication. I truly believe that this is the greatest invention since slice bread but it also has it's downfalls. A lot of the times people go onto the Internet and connect with people. Whether it's personally,emotionally,spiritually,networking or sexually; we all are enjoying ourselves to whatever extent. But what kills me is those people that purposely go online and find sex! Lawd why??? I know you all heard the sayings "everything that glitters ain't gold," "be careful what you ask for," "don't go searching for nothing because you might end up regretting it." Well all those old "country" sayings were true!!! It's a harsh world out here and you have to be careful. People will cut their pictures and make themselves "look good," cut out vital information about their true status, children, DISEASES! and bad habits.

We all want to look suitable to the eye but come on now, be honest with yourselves and the truth will set you free. Like I said before, I'm a true advocate for safe sex!!!! I'd worked at an STD/GYN clinic for 2.5 yrs and I loved it. I've gained so much knowledge,courage and wisdom working there and I'm truly grateful for that. But also working there has opened my eyes to the deadly game of sex. I've heard plenty of stories how people went online, met this guy/girl and hit it off. Now if you have sex the first night, hey that's how it is, I'm nooooooooooo one to judge but please make sure you wrap it up!! It's too many same stories how people go online meet this person and don't bother using protection!!!

I personally, now that I get older, don't see why people go online and show all their assets, do the most nastiest things and expect people to really respect you??? I've always been the type of girl that was classy but sassy and mysterious. Leave a person wondering what's really going on with you, you might actually enjoy that type of attention. But it's killing my Black women more and more everyday how our self esteem is dropping lower and lower. WE (African-Americans) don't need to express ourselves sexually/physically just to get attention because we already have been exploited over the years from slavery down to your average ho on the street. Love yourself from within and it will clearly show out. Self love is the best love.

I had a friend who I loved dearly but she wasn't on my same path. At that point in time, I was in my senior year of college and I choose to not participate in sexual activities. I wanted to be really focused on my school work and graduate!!! On the other hand, my friend was very promiscuous. She would meet guys off the Internet, wine and dine them, take them to bed and then complain to me she doesn't know why they didn't call her back??? WTF? Chiiiillldd Bye! He's not going to call you because you gave him a full meal, banging sex and a nap cap, he's good. He came, He saw and He conquered. She had the audacity to get mad at me when finally I was getting fed up with her complaining when I suggested to her that maybe she needs to slow down and keep a tight ship for a little while. Her comment to me was "girl please that's the whole purpose of dating, you keep f*cking until you get the right one." WOW! I was actually blown away how this slut puppy showed her true colors. Well my response to her when she continued to tell her story was..."well which guy is this, this week because this is someone new. You keep f*cking with so many guys that I can't keep up!!" Needless to say, her and I aren't friends anymore. She still does the same thing, messing with guys on the Internet, selling herself short. *Deuces*

Now online dating sometimes can be the best thing! I've met some pretty interesting people thanks to the Internet but I choose people wisely. In the past I've taken a lot of bull crap from men and I refuse to be any one's slut puppy just to tickle their fancy!!! I am a woman who deserves respect, love and admiration. Now I know some people might ask, have you every dated anyone off the net, well to answer that yes! They were not someone I was looking for at that point in time. We became friends before lovers. As a matter of fact, I still am friends with one of my ex's. We've been through a lot and I rather him to continue to be my friend then nothing at all to me. We have a bond that's not to be broken. So see the Internet do have a soft, nice side to it. I love meeting new, funny, different people that have respect for themselves and others! But I can't stand a man with no class, who thinks I'll bend over backwards and do whatever he wants because he's cute and he know how to use his mouth piece game??? Naaahhh son..LOL.

Please,please,please be smart! Don't have sex and not use protection. Better yet, get to know the person before you're ready to jump into bed with them. Once you jump into their beds,then you're opening up a can of worms that you might not be able to handle at that point in time. Especially women; we think/react with our emotions and our emotions are tied with our sexual experiences. Have sex with someone you enjoy, appreciate,adore and possibly love. Don't become an "online slut" looking for his/her next fix because in the end ladies and gents, you will find yourself by yourself!