Over the past two years I have found myself upset with myself for repeated mistakes and decisions. But what I know I have noticed is that I change the way I make my decisions. I have changed internally! I'm still working on me.
When I'm now unsure, confused, sad, happy or lost I find myself crying out to the Lord. My prayers are my hidden thoughts, fears and words that I NEED to get off my chest. I may not understand what my next step will be but I need that clarity from God. Right now I find myself again upset with myself. Why you may ask?......
I'm tired! I'm tired of being sick and tired. I'm tired of focusing my positive energy on negative people. When you send out your energy on people, you're suppose to get what you put forth. Now that's a pretty common sense idea but when you keep meeting selfish people its different. I have realized that I keep meeting selfish/self centered, careless people. I go to God in prayer and ask him for clarity and guidance but it seem like I don't get any help.
Is God nicely punishing me? Is he allowing these things to happen to push me towards my purpose? What do I need to do??? I'm confused into what I need to do, where I should go and what do I need to change? I'm frustrated!!! I'm trying to stay focus and grounded but it seems to me right now that I'm stuck. I'm going in circles. I keep falling and getting back up. Why?....
I'm scared to ask God that;why? Why do I go through what I'm going through now? Why can't I get the opportunities, chances and better options? I know God will deny some things that aren't right for you but when will I receive the chance to have the "real thing." I know I don't ask for much. Believe it or not, I'm a very simple person with complex decisions. But God know the desires of my heart.
Patiently waiting....
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3 comments:
Oh my love, I found myself feeling like that also but I've learned that God hears you and that he gives your blessing not when you want them, but when YOU NEED THEM, he may not come when you want him to, but he's always on time. Just continue to live and I promise you when you least expect it your prayers will be answered
stay strong sweetie.
i think everyone finds themselves in this place at one time or another. God realizes who we are and the uncertainty we have.
it's easy to feel confused, lost, or punished. it's harder to look outside and see the beauty through the rain. God works behind the scenes in everything we do. so when we go out looking for him we totally miss him and all the wonderful things he responsible for in our lives.
obstacles are put here for us to realize how blessed and lucky we really are. it's for us to learn form our mistakes, make better decisions, & understand the things we won't blindly have faith in. it's normal. it's natural. it's life. never be scared to ask God why, because the answer is always there. it's always within you, because that's where God is. be tired of being sick and tired. so that you can stop, open your eyes and see the blessings that happen ever second of your life.
Thank you so much you two! I always need words of encouragement. I'm working on accepting my current blessings and putting faith in my future blessings. Please pray for me.
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