You fall into my arms and I die inside. That's how you make me feel every time I hold you. I have this overwhelming feeling of discomfort. I'm lost. Alone. Vulnerable.
You hold a special part of me many men will never to be able to see. I don't know how I allowed myself to fall into this lonely hole so deep. I fell in love with a man who don't possess a heart. He lives off the pain from others. He who holds my heart hands it back every chance he gets.
I hold you close. I play with your face. I admire you. I want you. Every time you hold me, I get cold. I feel clamy, waiting to pass out from this unforgiven feeling.....I then get furious! I want to hate you, forget the man whom I feel in love with. I prayed secretly to ask God to let you go but I had no faith in that prayer. I'm not ready to let go of a possibility, a possibility of what though?
You have shown me that you're a man with a one track mind but I always seem to fall back into your world. Alice in the Wonderland is what I am now. Slowly falling into that dark hole again. Feeling myself loosing control of myself, thoughts and body. I hate you, I really do but somehow my love for you overrule. Let me go please. Release me from this voodo that you have over me.
I'm slowly loosing myself while loving you....
Written 1/23/2010
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Recovering Addict
The dictionary defines love as tender, passionate affection. I define it as a drug. A drug that so many of us chase afterwards, loose our minds, houses, friends, jobs, cars and even religion over. Really think about it, there is really no difference between a drug addict and a person in love.
An addict will rob, steal and sale their bodies for the next high. They will tighten their lips, arms, thighs and feet to feel that liquid poison crawl within their veins or being blown out of their brains. Addicts will curse, isolate, withdraw themselves from the world. But "normal" people look down upon them.
Its a shame you really don't see the difference between an addict and a person in love. A person in love will too rob, steal, lie and sale their souls for the feeling of being loved. They will open their legs to lust, open their mouths for foreplay and they will tighten their muscles for the penetration of his thrust. They will lay in bed past three and forget about the God they have once seen. You see there really isn't a difference.
A person in love will lay down and have babies by a man whom is selfish in every way just to desire love. They will purposely forget, isolate, consume, and wrap their lives around love. They will soon forget about the world. You see there really isn't a difference between you and me....
Hello my name is Jamale and I'm a love addict.
I was once lost. I was once engulfed in a man. I was once living my life, hourly, minutely, secondly around his time. I was chasing a hope and a prayer; a selfish desire. I was once laying down many times, anticipating the thrust of lust. The penetration ran me wild. I once lost my mind. I lost the world.
I later broke free after the man shown me whom he really meant to be. He digused himself as a gentleman. A man whom I could trust, love and cherish. He was a lie. Another "drug" for me to get high. A deadly disease of the mind. I prayed to be set free but it wasn't until I saw the reflection of the drug addict in the mirror, staring back at me.
I am recovering addict, over lover. Recovering from a love I can't get over.
An addict will rob, steal and sale their bodies for the next high. They will tighten their lips, arms, thighs and feet to feel that liquid poison crawl within their veins or being blown out of their brains. Addicts will curse, isolate, withdraw themselves from the world. But "normal" people look down upon them.
Its a shame you really don't see the difference between an addict and a person in love. A person in love will too rob, steal, lie and sale their souls for the feeling of being loved. They will open their legs to lust, open their mouths for foreplay and they will tighten their muscles for the penetration of his thrust. They will lay in bed past three and forget about the God they have once seen. You see there really isn't a difference.
A person in love will lay down and have babies by a man whom is selfish in every way just to desire love. They will purposely forget, isolate, consume, and wrap their lives around love. They will soon forget about the world. You see there really isn't a difference between you and me....
Hello my name is Jamale and I'm a love addict.
I was once lost. I was once engulfed in a man. I was once living my life, hourly, minutely, secondly around his time. I was chasing a hope and a prayer; a selfish desire. I was once laying down many times, anticipating the thrust of lust. The penetration ran me wild. I once lost my mind. I lost the world.
I later broke free after the man shown me whom he really meant to be. He digused himself as a gentleman. A man whom I could trust, love and cherish. He was a lie. Another "drug" for me to get high. A deadly disease of the mind. I prayed to be set free but it wasn't until I saw the reflection of the drug addict in the mirror, staring back at me.
I am recovering addict, over lover. Recovering from a love I can't get over.
Written 5/16/2010
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
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