Mental Stimualation

Hello Bloggers!

I know I talk about relationships a lot because I've been in many myself and I can smell bullsh!t from miles away now. LOL. But I came across this paragraph in this book I'm reading now called Pleasure by Eric Jerome Dickey which sparked my interest. It states, "Physical attraction was about aesthetics, not sexual performance, not mental stimulation. Without mental connection, a remarkable sexual performance yielded no lifelong guarantees. It was only lust. And lust was not love." I LOVE THAT STATEMENT!!

When I first read that I was moved by it's words. How can a man that's writing about how a woman is finding it hard to get stimulated know what the hell I'm going threw now??? That's my problem that I find with a lot of the men I know now. Lack of mental stimulation!!! I love men, far and wide but where the heck is the conversations that follows? When I first opened up this blog, my first blog session was about how men chase after what's "not good for them." A lot of our men don't realize that sometimes, they're chasing a lost dream of hope. You can hope and wish to get that girl that you want but if you don't have the mental stimulation that comes a long with the nice cars, fancy clothes and money what are you really getting. There are some women now a days that only want the material things but what about the women who really want love?

I would love to meet someone who can not only satisfy in other ways but make me hang on your every word by mentally stimulating me. A conversation that can last for hours without getting boring, not having to take things from the back of your mind to continue a short convo, or having that pause in the convo that seems to be annoying. The problem I believe is that a lot of people got lazy into wanting to know a person for who they truly are. I've been victim to saying, "I hate getting to know someone all over again because it's a long process." You can't go back to your ex just because that person is a safe zone!!!! They're your ex for a reason..duh!!! LOL. Don't be scared to jump out there and challenge yourself. Talk to people you wouldn't normally talk to.

I get to speak to different people almost everyday about their past experiences. I currently work for a company that helps the mentally ill. So I work with schizophrenics, severely depressed and bipolar population. It amazes me how I find my sanity in their complexed minds. A lot of people will disregard what these people will say because they have mental problems or previous substance abuse problems but you have to understand they have been threw whatever and back. They recognize their problem and they know they need help, hence that's why they come to my company. I find myself wrapped into their conversations about family, friends, drugs, relationships, politics, etc and I'm truly intrigued by the mental satisfaction that I find. Why the heck can't that be an every day "Joe" on the street that try to talk to me??? Why, is because they only see physical and don't see potential. I'm always the "cool, down to Earth, around the way girl" but never the potential. Now I'm not mad or bitter because now I have the power of choice!

The power of choice is an overwhelming feeling that you can't seem to control once your recognize it's gift. You have to remember that you choose who you want in your life, who you want to talk to, who you want to have sex with, who you want to spend your extra time with. Just like when you choose to be in a relationship with, you can choose to do whatever you want with that person. My patient told me the other day, a lot of times men are wrong when they believe that they chose that women who they gave their number or talk to but actually it's the women's choice to call you back or even be bothered with you. It's all about conversation! If you can't stimulate that women within the first 5 mins of the convo then you're killing time. A woman wants excitement, action and deliverance. We don't want a man that's only good for one thing (unless that's all she wants). Take for example, I know this guy who's been liking me for years and I completely passed him by for other people in my past. He confronted me earlier this year and was straight up about how I neglected him for a long time. All he wanted was a chance to prove himself to be my man. So I decided (choice) to give him a chance. We have all the lines of communication open but he bores me. He can IM me, text, call or hang out but he chooses not to. When I do see him, he has nothing much to say, I'm the one who's pulling teeth to get him to start talking more. This is probably a really good man (for someone else) but I NEED to be satisfied mentally!

You can not skip to just sex without mental stimulation. That's why a lot of people cheat. It's no communication or they're bored. Find other ways to produce a healthy relationship if you find yourself boring. You can always take your lady to places she dreamed of or never been. You will find it amazing to see that that can spark a perfectly mental stimulating conversation. Step out of your norm and have fun for once dammit!!! A relationship isn't always about you and your sexual ego that needs to be stroke often, this point goes to both male and female. Ask questions, peek your own interests as well as theirs and tell them what you're really thinking. You never do know what people is really hiding underneath all that skin. LOL.

When I post my poetry, please don't assume that I had sexual relationships will all those men. NO I didn't! I have quite the imagination that has a pretty dark hole. I dream and when I dream, I dream big. I can close my eyes and vision. I can smell and feel. I can hear what I want them to say. So it's just my imagination running wild. I have met all types of men from all walks for life but the ones whom I encountered and wrote about has peeked my interests but they seemed to be all the same. NO mental stimulation. I have only really been "in love" but twice. I have lusted over numerous people (LOL) but never loved. When I love, I love hard and strong. I want my feelings to felt in every kiss that I give that person. I have only had that opportunity once in my life so far. I have only really been mentally stimulated once also by that same person......

So my plee for you is to give thought to what you say and mean it. Don't try to see what someone is like in bed, see how they react to situations. Can that person manage their checkbook, can they have fun and be themselves around kids, can they be spontaneous, can they be adventurous, can they shimmy your fancy like B. Scott say?? Can you all both mentally stimulate one another?