
Monday, December 7, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Pillow

The sheets are being gripped tightly as I'm painfully getting pleased. Pillows smother me as I scream. I'm lost. Lost in a tightly woven web of lust. Lust that tastes bittersweet.
Eyes closed. Head back as I take many deep breaths. Deeper you go, louder I scream. I can't breathe, I'm losing my scream. The music drowns out my cries for help to the Lord. I brought this upon myself.
I toyed with you. Teased you. Made yo u wait. Now you're on attack. You want me to feel and remember the pain. Slow strokes, deeper as you go. I clinch. I reach. You pull away. You want to toy with the moment. Internally laughing at how much you got my body going.
I pull away. You tell me to suck it up and be strong. I'm trying. I'm trying to maintain my cool but the voodoo that you put on me have me confused. I want it. I yearned for it. So I'll gracefully accept it as I scream into the pillow.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Nail Polish Color of the Week
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Video
Monday, November 23, 2009
Prayers Unanswered
Over the past two years I have found myself upset with myself for repeated mistakes and decisions. But what I know I have noticed is that I change the way I make my decisions. I have changed internally! I'm still working on me.
When I'm now unsure, confused, sad, happy or lost I find myself crying out to the Lord. My prayers are my hidden thoughts, fears and words that I NEED to get off my chest. I may not understand what my next step will be but I need that clarity from God. Right now I find myself again upset with myself. Why you may ask?......
I'm tired! I'm tired of being sick and tired. I'm tired of focusing my positive energy on negative people. When you send out your energy on people, you're suppose to get what you put forth. Now that's a pretty common sense idea but when you keep meeting selfish people its different. I have realized that I keep meeting selfish/self centered, careless people. I go to God in prayer and ask him for clarity and guidance but it seem like I don't get any help.
Is God nicely punishing me? Is he allowing these things to happen to push me towards my purpose? What do I need to do??? I'm confused into what I need to do, where I should go and what do I need to change? I'm frustrated!!! I'm trying to stay focus and grounded but it seems to me right now that I'm stuck. I'm going in circles. I keep falling and getting back up. Why?....
I'm scared to ask God that;why? Why do I go through what I'm going through now? Why can't I get the opportunities, chances and better options? I know God will deny some things that aren't right for you but when will I receive the chance to have the "real thing." I know I don't ask for much. Believe it or not, I'm a very simple person with complex decisions. But God know the desires of my heart.
Patiently waiting....
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Thursday, November 19, 2009
Magnets

Thursday, October 8, 2009
GodS
