Thursday, October 30, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Are you suffering from....???
This is the type of people I deal with all the time. I find myself constantly attracted to some serious butt holes. NOT just men but women too. Mostly the men are a killer though. Being a woman, I'm sure another woman will agree when I say that most women know we're always comparing ourselves to another woman. So we have to put that person down to make ourselves look and feel better. Men, now yall are a different story. Some men are very straight to the point. They know what and who they want. Then you have those that like to sugar coat feelings, ideas and emotions. You can not hide the truth! Let me give you some words of advice, tell the truth! Regardless, of what sex, race or religion, the truth is respect is accepted more than lies. Be a real person and tell your true feelings. A woman like me get frustrated, accept what's given and move on to new and bigger ideas.
I have a friend who likes me a lot. For all these years, we played with the thought of a relationship. But I seem to stop it before it starts. Now some people will say that I'm just scared and I'll say that I need a more firm man. I love men who say what they mean and mean what they say. Please don't throw hints to me because I will misinterpret it as something else. I don't play when it comes down to serious business and relationships. My friendships are just as important to me as well. So if there's a problem or an emotion that need to be expressed, well dammit say something!!!! I don't read minds nor do I do magic tricks. I will not turn back the hands of time or hold back. So if you don't like what I say then sorry stop talking to me because God made me like this!!! GET OVER IT!
I am a woman of pride and anger. They constantly bump heads but I know when to separate them. I speak my mind on this blog because it's my place of piece when I'm constantly thinking and venting. I blog because I believe my opinion is just as important as the next. I blog because I have a little voice that don't get heard. For a long time, I was screaming in silence. Letting my thoughts and emotions overwhelm my mind. Now that I have a "piece of mind," I'm not going to change it! I write how I feel, I say what I want and I write about who I want! I write about love and being lost in love. I write about my imagination running wild, things that make me angry and things/people that make me happy. I love being in love and all the things that are involved with being in love. But most importantly, I write about my true deep, dark emotions. If I like/love someone well that's what it is. If I fell in love with someone well that's what that is too. But when I speak of the past, well then let the past be the past! I am human!
Be CAREFUL who you're listening to...
Growing up my mother always told me to be careful who I tell my business to. I use to always tell her that I don't spread all my business to no one but my friends. But you see even though you don't say much to people, your mind is actually speaking for you. A lot of people don't realize that your actions sometimes can mean your words. I just to let my mind wonder and let the devil tear me down to nothing. I did and said harsh things to those that I loved. I let that voice come in and take control of my thoughts. I cried many nights and wondered why me? If God has heard my cry and see me going through hell on Earth, why me? That "voice" told me that I wasn't nothing, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not skinny enough, I don't have the nicer clothes like the other girls, my hair can't get straight enough, I can't loose weight no matter what!, my eyes aren't light enough, I want to be lighter!!! No I'm not good enough.... I use to tell people this all the time.
While in church, one of my pastor's talked on a sermon about being careful whom you're speaking to and listening to. It had me thinking about all the people I've spoken to over the years, even my family members. My pastor stated that you will have those that seem to have best interest at heart but all along they're plotting against you. Some people will tell you vicious lies and deceit or they will boost your mind to believe something big. You can not and I repeat CAN NOT listen to everything people tell you. My pastor warned us that the devil and his solders can speak to you through people you know or don't know. The problem that I deal with along with plenty other people is that sometimes we focus our blessings based on what we can see. We keep "praying" until we feel as though we got what we wanted because we know Jesus was listening. Well I'm here to tell you, not all the time those "blessings" are from Jesus. Yes the devil will "bless" you with what you wanted but you know he wants something in return. For example he will give you that new car that you always wanted but he wants you to go out to the club and be too tired to get up on Sunday morning and go to church. He eventually wants your counted soul.
I know this is a deep thought to think about but really think about it. Have you ever done something and someone ask you do you know why you did that? How could do something like that to me or who do you think you are?? You find yourself lost for words. Well there was a little voice (not your conscience) telling you to do something because it's going to be OK. Or you had someone to encourage your thoughts/feelings and even participated with you. Not everyone is truly your friend. When You feel as though you weren't yourself, you really wasn't. You were taken over by your thoughts and your acted based on your feelings. We have to get out of this realm of seeing faith and not walking by faith.
God has promised you a beautiful life, all you have to do is show up to collect the prize. We live a predestined life that God has ordered our steps. You can read your bible everyday, pray everyday and preach the word but if you don't believe in what God has planned for you, then that one thought can damage your whole harvest that you just planned with one seed. Yes we're going through a recession but you have to see past this. My pastor tell us all the time, you're not in a recession, the world is. Just work your principle and you will walk through this storm. Now when he states work your principle, he's not stating just tithe. He's stating that you have to preach to those that feel like giving up, reecourgage yourself daily, read and believe the word and come to church anytime the doors are open. It's a shame that thousands of churches doors are closing due to this "recession" because a lot of the members can't afford to pay tithes and offerings. But this is your time to realize this is what the devil wants. He wants you too not being able to pay your bills, trying to pay Peter by robbing Paul and neglecting your church. You're making excuses that church is too far b/c of no gas, no tithes to offer, my body hurts, the game is going to be on or I have errands to run on Sundays. God doesn't ask for much, he really just ask for an hour of your time daily when you're not in church and a couple of hours on Sunday. Stop letting the devil win your spirit and your heart. You're in control of your own destiny! STOP listening to those people who tell you that you'll never make it, you're ugly, you can't get that car (it's too expensive for your pockets), you can't open up that business, how are you going to pay for school?, who do you think you are, you're fat, you shouldn't do that b/c you're not ready for that, or you will never be nothing like your parents. STOP IT! Don't let another negative thought come into that mind. You're everything that God has given you and much more. He gives you a choice, not it's up to you what you where do you want to go? Just have FAITH!!!!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Wowzers!!!!!!!!!
http://www.InSPOT.org
Monday, October 20, 2008
~Lustful~
Common Questions...
My youngest brother asked me why in the world do I have a blog page? He was like those people who have a blog page are those who stay in the house and have nothing to do. Well to correct him (after I was laughing), I'm a quite busy young lady! The reason for this blog is to express myself. Not just my poems but also my thoughts that I sometimes express with my friends, coworkers or even some of my patients. This blog is a common blog but unique in a unusual way. You would say how is this page unique? Well look at what I talk about and how I feel. Now my subjects are very common but my ideas and points are unique. I do, do a lot of thinking. Hence "The Thinker" that I have on my blog. I don't quite look like that when I think (LOL) but I do have some deep thoughts. I do have some deep concerns about my life and the world that surrounds me. Take for example have you ever wanted someone so bad that it kills you to be their friend?? Now I know a lot of people can relate to what I'm saying because they have been there before or still there.
I've been in this situation recently where I think this guy is cute. I mean cute to the point I was like umm I need to speak to him everyday!! At first, I was like I'm going to play it cool and not be pressed about him but when I finally got to know him and see how sweet he really was, that made me want to know this man more!!! Now some people would be bold and just come out and say you should have talked to him and flirt a little more. See what a lot of people fail to understand that I'm shy and I don't do bold moves without me knowing how that person really feel. You can't make an a$$ out of yourself when you're trying to flirt (not a good look)! Needless to say, I didn't get to know that man and take it to the next level but I was beating myself up everyday knowing that I had something to tell him but I couldn't. We're really good friends now and I appreciate our friendship. I soon came to discovered that he was in a long term relationship that hurt him pretty bad and he don't want a girlfriend right now. Now I'm not selfish (even though a part of me was) but you have to respect that decision. I asked him why and he stated that he wanted to get himself together financially and emotionally. You have to respect a man who knows what he wants and of course I did. But the thought came across my mind when I saw him today..."damn he's so cute, funny,smart, ambitious, cute(I know I already said it LOL) but he's the type of guy I would love to date but he just want a friend and I'm going to be that friend for him. Now some women can't deal with the fact that he's not into the relationship thing right now but I'm just happy that he's my friend. When I see him everyday in the afternoon and he smiles and say "What's Up?", I can't help but smile back and feel special. I'm his special friend....
Have you ever asked yourself these questions?:
Why is he with her? Why can't I find the nerve to speak to that person? Why are they suck a butt hole to me? When will I get that chance to prove myself? Why do they only see me as a friend? If things were different, what would be different? Why do I have to fade to the background? LORD WHY ME?? Well let me explain something to you. I have asked myself and the Lord all these questions before but I did discover this...you're blocking your blessings if you ask all these questions!!! How can you focus on what you have if you're worried about what you don't have??? THINK ABOUT IT! Stay focus on your dreams and hold fast to them. For if you give up on what God has promised you then you will lose faith. Keep praying and venting to God. He's always listening even through all those questions.
Be Blessed.