Club Etiquette

Last night I decided to go out with my cousins to this respectable Reggae club. My cousins and I range in ages, 27,25 and 23. We are all on the same level of partying standards and we know when enough is enough. I don't go out as often as my 23 yr. old cousin do but I do know a thing or two about club etiquette.

When we first walked into the club, first off the bouncer was trying to talk to my younger cousin. She is very beautiful and curvy so what man don't want to holla? But as we made our way to the bar, an unknown guy was watching her. We decided that we wanted to stand in front of this room heater since there wasn't a lot of people there just yet due to it being fairly early still. As we were standing there, men were flocking over to my cousin. Now let me explain, NO my cousin didn't have anything hanging out, swinging, showing or calling for immediate attention unlike the other women standing around us, like I said earlier she's curvy! So what kills me (not like I'm hating) but why stand around women like we're some type of meat and you're ready to go in for the kill?? Wow bammas can yall back up and give a sista 15 feet? LOL.

As time goes on and the music begin to really play, my older cousin and I decided that we wanted to get closer to the dance floor and "wine our dutty hips" as the Islanders say. Little did we know we left our younger cousin to the wolves!!! A guy approached her (the one who saw here at the bar) and asked why such a pretty lady is sitting by herself? She proceeded to tell him that she wasn't feeling the music at that time and she's fine. Well he wanted to buy her a drink in the meantime. OK cool but the kicker is he wanted her to sit down and let him get the drink! WHAT?! Ummmm no sir, she told him she would follow him to the bar because she doesn't know nor trust him. I guess you can say this was the start of a "beautiful" relationship. LOL.

Rule #1: If you buy a lady a drink, that does NOT give you the right to stalk her all damn night! You can get to know someone without alcohol.

Rule #2: Ladies if you don't want this stalking to occur, politely say no thanks and buy your own. It will truly work out in the end! *smile*

My younger cousin finally decided to join us on the dance floor with her "boyfriend" in tow. But it was this one guy that was staring my older cousin down from head to toe. He was the most rudest person that you could ever met! He busted in between my younger cousin and I to get to my older cousin just to get rejected. When I noticed that he was still standing directly in front of me and backing up, I nicely tapped him on his shoulder and told him that I was dancing and you're in my space to do so, he waved me off. My older cousin informed him that he was being rude and was violating our space. Oh he didn't like that! So he acted like my cousin didn't blow him off and took his anger out on us. He proceeded to tell us that he didn't want none of us to touch nor talk to him. We were like cool but you are the one who's standing in front of us all in our dance area. So I guess he wanted to taunt us and act like he was going to throw his drink on us and we had that attitude like "we wish a ni99a would!" We're fam and we're not going to let nothing happen to us. He kept circling around us and talking to us guys, pointing at us like we were supposed to be scared. I BUSTED OUT LAUGHING! I'm not scared of nobody but Jesus sir! NEXT

Rule #3: Don't drink if you can't hold your liquor properly.

Rule #4: Don't get mad if a girl isn't feeling you. It's alright, she wasn't the one for the night so don't stalk her. You're only making her madder.

Finally after my older cousin kept getting hit on by random, drunk men I decided that I wanted to go sit down since I've been dancing in heels for an hour straight. While I was over there my older cousin had a dance floor stalker looking all over the club for her and my other cousin had guys waiting in line to talk to her. I just shook my head at all this drama and thanking God this wasn't my night that I wasn't getting harassed like I always do. We observed this one "couple" who requested that this random guy get off the wall next to our table so he can really enjoy his dance from this beastly looking woman. While this monkey humping was going next to me, my cousins left me alone for a little while. This is the point of the night were I'm observing the environment/people. I noticed several of women with dresses on that made them look like they were pregnant, showed all their rolls or stretch marks.

Rule #5: Look at yourself front, back and sideways when you look into the mirror. If it don't look right then it's not right!

Rule #6: Stop showing everything that you can offer to the club and then give the men the side eye when you don't like the way he's approaching you. It's what's you're selling!

Rule #7: Freak a guy in a classy way. Don't dip it low like you're a stripper! Give him a seductive dance that will have him smiling while receiving it.

Moving on: The monkey's to my right were exchanging numbers while this crazy man was dancing spiratically to my left, I rolled my eyes. I was constantly reminding myself this is the reason why I don't do the club scene anymore. This crap gets old! So the beastly looking woman's friend asked could she sit down where my older cousin was sitting and I told her it was fine until my cousin came back. While she was sitting there, the beastly woman demanded that she go out on the dance floor and find whatever she lost of hers. She was calling her all types of "bitches and hoes" that I just couldn't believe my ears! This is how you talk to your good girlfriends now a days? Chiiiiiillllleee please, I'm not a bitch and I'm far from a hoe! The other beastly woman's friend was helping look for whatever was missing and decided she wanted to say something to me while I was sitting there. She leaned over in my ear and ask me " I know you didn't come to the club to sit down?" I smile and told her that I had danced earlier that night. But then I thought to myself, Who the hell are you and why are you in my business? If I choose to come to the club and do nothing but be a wallflower then that my business! *eye roll* Needless to say I got up after my younger cousin motioned for me to come on the dance floor, perfect timing! After 3:00am we finally all agreed that we had enough of this madness. My older cousin was going home to her man and kids, while my younger cousin and I were going home to our sanity. Thank God
BTW: The monkey man that was dancing with beastly woman, decided he wanted to grab my arm as I was proceeding to tell my friend who bar tends there good nite. That monkey wanted my number. EWWW you're nasty! Chiiiiillllleeee bye! LOL

Rule #8: Don't go to the club looking for something, you might get what you asked for but in a bad way.

Rule #9: Sometimes it's just too many men in the club to one woman. Don't hawk a one woman all night because she's tired by the end of the last convo. She'll have an attitude when you approach her.

Rule #10: If you don't have no money, take your broke a$$ home! Stop booty tootin for drinks ladies, it isn't cute.

Rule #11: If you're a bouncer and you're trying to talk to a young lady when she's leaving the club, don't you think she's going to say no because she knows you're hollering at every cutie that walks through the door?? (unless she's a hoodrat and really don't care)